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For example, clean up the house every third day instead of the second. Once you prioritize, other things just have to come second and third.You can go online late at night and you can use your lunch hour to have coffee with the people you meet. The important point is that people who have kids learn pretty quickly that they need someone who also has kids, and guys are going to look for that, too.We both are widowed, and we have gone out, but I'm not ready to invite him into my home. Still, there is an arch to relationships: They either get more or less intimate. It hasn't been clear that someone was asking the question about a gay relationship.So if you really like this guy, at some point you should open up more of your world to him. But I think most of the things that apply to heterosexual relationships have resonance with same-sex relationships.That said, I know people who had HUGE distances between them and survived that and ended up committed and together.So it's not easy, but if it's really important to both of you, and both of you work at it, it can have a good outcome.

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Question from Barbara: I'm currently dating a gentleman very sweet in every aspect. It is very intimate to let someone into your home and it may set up expectations for a fuller relationship that you're not ready for.Question from Fran in San Fran: You don't mention a lot about homosexuals dating. Of course there are some differences, and I would be sensitive to those differences. Join singles groups that do the activities you love.But just so you know, I was the lead witness against the don't-ask-don't-tell rule in federal court and I testified for gay marriage in Hawaii, and for gay adoption and foster-child placement in Arkansas. Just because you have had some intimate relationships that didn't work out, that doesn't predict the future. If you like to hike, you are likely to meet men who like to hike in a hiking club.Question from Lois: What about trips that are only for singles?PS: I think day trips for singles are a good idea, or maybe even three days.

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